婚姻幽默 Susan Wang（澳）提供
婚姻幽默
"When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her." - Lee Majors
如果有人搶了你的老婆，最好的報復就是讓他留著。- 美國電影明星 - 李.梅爾
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other but still they stay together. - Al Gore
結婚後夫妻就像一個硬幣的兩面；他們不但不能面對面，而且還分不開. - 阿爾.戈爾 (克林頓當總統時的副總統)
"By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher." - Socrates
不管怎麼樣，還是結婚的好。如果你找到一個好太太,你會很幸福.假如你找到一 個壞的,你會成為一個哲學家.- 蘇格拉底 (古希臘的思想家、哲學家，教育家)
"Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them." - Mike Tyson
“女人給了男人做大事的激勵和靈感，同時又給了男人完成大事的阻力。” - 麥克 . 泰森 (前美國拳王)
"The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?" - George Clooney
“有一個好問題我總是沒答案；那就是: 女人到底想要什麼？” - (美國著名演員 - 喬治 · 克魯尼 )
"I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me." - Bill Clinton
我跟我太太才說了幾個字，她卻回了我一段長篇大論. - 比爾 . 克林頓 (美國前總統 )
"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week.
A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays." - George W. Bush
有人問我婚姻能維持這麼長的秘密; 我們每個星期去餐館兩次,晚餐有燭光,音 樂,和跳舞。她星期二去，我星 期五去. (美國前總統- 小布希 )
"I don't worry about terrorism. I was married for two years." - Rudy Giuliani
我不怕恐怖分子。我已經結婚兩年了。( 前紐約市長911時 - 魯迪 . 朱利安尼 )
"Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming:
1. Whenever you're wrong, admit it, 2. Whenever you're right, shut up." * - Shaquille O ’ Neal
“有兩個秘密能讓你的婚姻圓滿:1, 當你錯時,馬上認錯。 2. 當你對時，閉上嘴巴。 - ( 美國籃球巨星* - 沙奎爾 . 奧尼爾 )
"The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once..." - Kobe Bryant
最有效的方法記住你太太的生日就是先忘掉一次。 (美國籃球巨星 - 科比 · 布萊恩特 )
"My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met." - Alec Baldwin
我太太和我都高高興興的過了二十年，然後我們相遇了. ( 美國電影明星 - 亞歷克 . 鮑德溫 )
"A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong." Barack Obama
一個好太太當她是錯的時候總是原諒她的丈夫。 - ( 美國總統 - 歐巴馬 )
"Marriage is the only war where one sleeps with the enemy." - Tommy Lee
“婚姻是唯一的敵我睡在一張床上的戰爭。” ( 美國老牌電影明星 - 湯米 . 李 )
"First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel! & Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive." - Jimmy Kimmel
有個人驕傲的說 "我的太太是天使"另一個聽到的人說“ 你真幸運,我太太還活著" ( 美國著名電視節目主持人 - 吉米 . 金米爾 )
“Honey, what happened to ‘ ladies first ’ ? Husband replies “ That’s the reason why the world a mess today because a lady went first! - David Letterman
親愛的,"女士優先怎麼了"？丈夫回答"今天世界亂成這個樣子就是因為女的先來" . ( 美國電視著名脫口秀主持人 - 大衛 . 萊特曼 )